Rantings

Party on Sunday was an absolute flop. All the hot gay guys that were meant to be going didn't show up, and the rest of the people there (except for a few like Francoise, Christine and Nicole) had no charisma, or even a mildly crazy streak.
We stayed for a few hours out of obligation in which, N, F and I proceeded to do our usual random noises and actions elaborately, then went back to Fran's.
We watched the local Perth TV for a bit, laughing at the show that was basically cooking for bogans, with a cute guy who looked strangely familiar. After that, 'Shaun of the Dead' was put on. Love that movie :D
The costume was a flop, i so cbfd that night that i didn't go through with it. Just went in normal clothes. And apparently, i was popular amongst the straight girls..... again >.> dammit, why can't they have penises..... and be guys........ preferably at the same time.....

In other news:
I finally got to see dad again for the first time in ages. It was good, but i still feel like i haven't caught up with him, as that night i had more conversation with my step-mum then i did with him. There is something either there, or decidedly not there going on in his mind, and i can never find the one on one time to talk to him properly. I just want him to stop ignoring whatever it is that he is, that he always has and come to terms with it. He's been through a lot in his time, but still, he frustrates me. This is where communication comes in again. Any subtlety and hints are wasted on him, its like hinting to a wall, but finding the time to be blunt with him in a place where no one else will be offended is damn difficult. The upside of the visit was to actually see him, and my new laptop that i was meant to have for the start of uni, the one i was using before, now that my porn is removed, is going back to Darren's work or some shit like that.

I visited Nanna with my sister today, she and her partner (Ron) seemed to be really excited to see us, and fussed over us greatly. Nanna especially made us a really nice soup for lunch, and Ron showed us all the camping gear he's willing to lend us for our camping holiday, and how to use it. So now, we don't need to buy too much more camping stuff for when we go away. Nanna also greatly surprised us, as for the last few months (since she found out we were going up north for a month) has been saving money for our trip. Every time she surprises us like this, we try to give it back to her, but she is so stubborn with how much she insists we take it, that if we don't accept it, she'll sneak it into our bags or something. This behaviour of hers, although it makes me guilty, has saved me a lot, many times. This time however it has taken the... cake? she showed me the money, she has saved $500 for us, and she said there will be more by the time she goes away. I tried really hard to turn down her offer, but in the end, Nicole and I just decided we'd pay her back once we return and have the money to spare.

Eddy has finally reciprocated interest after months of it being a one sided friendship. Although i think its a little suss for it to be straight out of the blue like this, i'm thinking he's using it as a means to escape his 'other life' at the moment. He has many troubles currently, and throughout all the ones he's encountered since i met him, i've been the only definite constant. He has also expressed guilt about not showing enough gratitude/care towards me. On Friday night he is staying over, and i should get a chance to finally communicate properly with him. Typing all this makes me feel like crap because i'm being judgemental of myself for typing it, even knowing the situation, and having confirmation from multiple view points without me asking. I dwell on shit, that's my problem, and i can recall shit that i have said and done, and that other people have said and done from years ago. Like silly stuff from year 1, and some of the mistakes i made when my hearing started to go bad in year 9 (probably due to the drum kit being played hell loudly only a few meters away from me for at least an hour a day for 3 or 4 years, and the headphones i used to drown everything out with instead of dealing with it... but that's a tale for a different time when it is more relevant.)

Bloody hell, two picture fors today, as i don't have my porn collection organised on this computer, they will have to be non-pornographic...

The first is nice, the second is irrelevant.

It's a moose.

It's 1am, i plan on going to uni tomorrow so its my sleepy time now.
(if i have swapped words around or put them in the wrong spot, it is because i cannot concentrate right now).
Goodnight! :)